Where the Rubber Meets the Road

The thoughts from the earlier post have stayed with me since I heard them on Sunday and when I wrote them on Monday.

I am in a pressure cooker of sorts and the heat is being turned up just a little each day.

I am thankful that God has revealed the circumstances to me so I can begin to process.

At som some point the pressure will become to great and I must respond.

The moment has come, it is now.

Having the earlier words before me are very eye opening and alarming!

I have historical experience in this particular situation.  The history is bleak and doesn't offer much hope for the present situation to play out well.

HOWEVER, God is in my head and reminding me that I also have history with Him and in every situation I turn over to Him, all have ended perfectly!

So, it becomes a question of how will I respond?  Once again, God is asking, Jill, will you trust Me?

Shall I give into a bleak history and respond with chaotic emotions, panic, a need to control things not in my control?

Or shall I leave the history in the past and simply trust God to walk through this present day situation holding each of our hands and delivering us to an outcome that is right for all?

The ability to choose to turn your mind from human historical experiences and not allow your mind to those experiences project them onto present circumstances and outcomes is not easy.

If I choose to follow history, the translation is panic.  Full blown panic.

Want to know the human, living, breathing definition of insanity?  It is knowing how terrible situations without God can be, knowing how human beings are inherently sinful WHILE knowing how perfect God is, knowing that God holds a perfect plan for each of us AND then even for a second consider choosing to panic, fear and self-reliance in the face of pressure, choosing to not see God and not trust Him.  That my friends is insane!

And yet, here I am.

And once again, I am so thankful to be a place I recognize and can surrender whole-heartedly  with my response.  Yes LORD, I will trust You!!!


And I am done!  I am done with panic!

Father in Heaven, here I am.  I lay my panic and worries at Your feet.  I am sorry for my moments where I actually considered panic over trust.  I truly believe You are in in the midst of this mess.  I truly am Your child and I am confident You will walk each of through to Your perfect result.  Father, I ask You to prepare me for Your perfect result and to release any expectations I may have that would undermine Your glory.  Prepare each of us to receive Your guidance.  I love You, my security is found in You and You alone.  Strengthen me, prepare me, hold me close.  Through Christ I come, strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit to lay my worries, fears and expectations at Your feet.  Father I feel peace restored within me as I type.  May You be glorified in all. Amen.


Curious Side Note:  It's been about 2 hours since I surrendered this prayer.  I realized the song that I've been humming and the lyrics that have been flashing in my head for the last 24 hours or so....... Tenderly, softly, Jesus is calling, sinner come home, come home.  The Holy Spirit has been stirring about in me walking me to today.  

Food for Change

At the conclusion of most Sunday Services at church I am changed by something I heard that day.  This is good and much needed to grow in my walk with Christ. 

Yesterday I was really challenged by what I heard.  I'm going to sit awhile with Jesus on this one.  I need Christ to reveal His perspective on this one.  I need to surrender to what He reveals and I need to grow beyond where I am.

I don't want to forget the statements & questions that challenged as I walk through this season with Jesus, so I'm listing them below:

1.  Pressure reveals who I truly am and what I truly believe.

2.  The difference between a conviction and a good intention is what happens to it under pressure.

3.  Pressure reveals where I'm placing my trust.

4.  Fears are always attached to those things you place your security in.

5.  Fear displays a mistrust of God.

6.  What am I clinging to, what am I afraid of?

6.  Am I still living by my performance or by the Grace of God alone?

For me personally, the answers are revealing and disturbing.  Just give me Jesus, let me daily live by Him and Him alone.

Here I am LORD, sitting at Your feet.