God Is With Me Everywhere I Go

I am trying so hard to leave my concerns at the foot of the cross.  I want them to stay there, but I keep picking them up.  Then my thoughts run wild with a million what-if's.

What if the messages that I sent do not bring peace but stir up anger?  Does it mean my motives were impure?  Is it my place to have responded at all?  Have I made a bigger mess? 

I promise this was not my intent nor my heart.

Then I remember the initial message and direction from Sunday morning only became clear after I stopped and asked God "so what do you want me to do?"

However, once the message was sent and the emotions exploded throughout the day, I was overwhelmed by how everything unfolded.

I wanted to respond immediately in love, I wanted to apologize, I wanted to clear the air.  But in His silence, God said "not now."

So I waited.

On Tuesday, very clearly God provided the direction.  I wrote and then mailed the response to all parties.

Knowing the letters will be received today and tomorrow, I went to God in prayer this morning.  I asked Him to search me as directed in Psalm 139:23-24.

I have not been able to leave my worry and anxiety at the feet of the cross and simply wait.

I feel my anxiety growing as this day wears on.  Remembering that I left off hours ago by asking God to search my heart, I open again to Psalm 139.  I wanted to remember that there is nowhere I can go that God won't be with me. 

But before I get to those verses I read:

Oh LORD, you have searched me and You know me.  Psalm 139:1

Peace overflows and restores me!!!  Thank you Oh LORD!!!!!  And then You remind me You will be with me whatever today holds and all the days to come.  There is nowhere I can go that You will not be with me.

You hem me in —behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,  too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.  Psalm 139:5-10

And so I once again lay my heart, worries, cares and anxieties at the feet of the Cross.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

Father, help me to stand strong in You.  I don not want fear to define me, I do not want worry and anxiety to guide me through the day.  I desire You.  Father I want none of me present in me.  Father please through the Holy Spirit fill every crevice of my being with You and You alone.  Fill me wiht Your love, Your peace, Your wisdome, Your discernment, Your emotions & thoughts, let Your heart fill me.  I pray Your heart is moving in a mighty way throughout us all that Love might prevail and You would be glorified.

Oh Abba, Father, I feel Your peace.  Thank You!

Father, Search My Heart

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

This has been an emotionally draining week.  As a result I am tired!  I am mentally, physically and emotionally drained.  Thankfully my spirit is Good and strong.

I have found strength and encouragement in the verse above. 

Thank You Father for fortifying me with Your words early Monday morning.

Later today and tomorrow will hold the opportunities for residual drama to unfold.

And so I come before You Father to sit at Your feet to ask for You to
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.See if there is any offensive way in me,  and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139: 23-24

Only You know my heart, my intent, my mind.  You know me better than I think I know myself.  Father before You I surrender all of me for Your examination.  Father reveal unto me anything that is not of You.  Mold me, make me into the person You created me to be!  Less of me and more You, that is my desire.

And so as I walk through these next two days without the knowledge of what will unfold, I come to You in prayer and place my faith and trust in Your words found in Romans 8:28.

Father, You know my truth, my heart and my intention.  Father, I do not desire to create conflict, but to establish a foundation for healing our future.  Oh Abba, Father prepare the hearts, minds, thoughts, emotions, tongues, eyes and ears of those I have reached out to.  I pray You will be present and direct them according to Your purpose while simultaneously preparing me for Your purpose as well.  I need Your strength, wisdom, love, presence, mind, words, fortitude.  Father I pray I feel Your presence with me throughout today and the days to come.  Father fill me with Your peace and hold me closely.  Only You, Father.  I pray Only You will be seen among us all.  Through Christ I come.  Amen.